Rebuilding confidence after a setback
This week’s story comes from a reader—we’ll call her Maya. She’s in her mid-30s, works in marketing in Toronto, and had her eyes on a promotion she genuinely felt ready for. The kind where you can practically see your name on the org chart.
She interviewed, prepared like she was studying for an exam, and checked every box.
But she didn’t get the promotion.
And the worst part wasn’t the “no.” It was the non-specific feedback: “You’re doing great work. Keep it up. It just wasn’t the right time.”
If you’ve ever heard something similar, you know how fast your confidence can crumble. Maya found herself second-guessing decisions she used to make easily, rewriting emails three times, and shrinking back in meetings. The rejection felt like a personal setback.
Eventually, she decided something needed to shift. Not the situation but the story she was telling herself about it.
Here’s what helped her rebuild:
1. Separated performance from outcome.
A failed promotion doesn’t erase your value. Maya reviewed her projects without the emotional fog and realized her work was strong. It was the process, not her talent, which had fallen short.
2. Made her thinking more visible.
Instead of trying to “prove” herself, she started sharing context earlier. Asking sharper questions. Framing decisions instead of over-explaining them. Leadership noticed the clarity of her judgment rather than work volume.
3. Set one confidence action per week.
Tiny, specific wins like:
- Ask one strategic question in the team meeting
- Present a project update in under two minutes
- Send an email with one recommendation, not three options
Small steps can lead to big shifts.
Six months later? She didn’t just feel confident again; she felt anchored. More strategic and self-directed. Her manager even told her, “You’re showing up differently. In a good way.”
Until next time…
Mal
Founder, The Ideas Accelerator
Helping you grow your career with strategic insight and smarter tools.